“Why-Did-My-Dog-Do-That?” moments are the essential ingredient of understanding dog-talk. Whenever my dogs do something I don’t quite understand, I’ve learned to ask myself, “Why did Callie do that? What message is she trying to send me?” My personal objective is to never let a doggie-message go unheard, although I’m sure I miss a few.

This morning, Callie and I jogged our morning jog together without Barbara, who had an early business meeting. When we got to the golf club road, Callie pulled me in that direction, which didn’t surprise me, as we often jog down the driveway into the golf club parking lot.

But then Callie went on a “sit-down” strike. She just stopped running and sat her feathery puppy butt down on the asphalt.

I probably should have known right away why she did this, but I didn’t put two and two together fast enough. So I started through my mental checklist: “Does she want to go pee or pooh? Is there someone or somedog she wants to visit with? Does she have some bark or twigs caught in her hind puppy feathers? Is she hearing a strange noise or smelling a strange smell?”

Satisfied that the answer to all of these questions was “no,” I dug a little deeper and finally “connected the dots.” Callie was sitting in front of the stone wall that supports the golf club sign, and Barbara always lets her jump up on the wall and walk along the top until she has to hop back down to the driveway.

So I walked Callie over to the wall, and, sure enough, she jumped up and walked tightrope-style along the top as far as she could — a happy puppy because she sent a message and I (finally) heard it and did something about it.

To me, this is an important part of building a strong relationship with a dog — getting the message and showing my dog — by my actions — that I understood.

I know, I know, the patient is supposed to be on the couch, and the psychologist is supposed to be in the arm chair. But I couldn’t find a patient. Where are those Labrador Retrievers when you need them?

You may have read that there’s a new book that helps people figure out, if they were a dog, which dog would they be? Here’s a link to the article. The book is called, “Which Dog Are You?”

There are also some sites where a person can take an on-line test to see which dog they are. Here’s an example at www.ivillage.com.

Well, if people can have a “which dog are you?” book, I decided my doggie friends should have a “which person are you?” book. So I decided to start writing it, and I thought I’d use myself as an example for the first chapter. You can see it here.

This time, we’re going to talk about Labrador Retrievers and see which person they are likely to be like.

According to the AKC, Labrador Retrievers are kindly, outgoing and of a tractable nature. (Can’t you just hear the guy at the dog shows reading this stuff?) They are also supposed to be easy to please, gentle, intelligent and adaptable.

By my doggie psychology calculations, lots of Labrador Retrievers are “ESTPs.” This means they see a world “outside themselves.” Like a lot of dogs, they are very oriented toward their highly efficient senses. They are “sensors” more than they are “intuitors.” Their intelligence often makes them “Thinkers” (as opposed to “feelers”) Their action orientation gives them a tendency in the direction of “perceiving,” as opposed to “judging.” So, Labrador Retrievers are often ESTPs.

There’s a joke titled, “How Many Dogs Does it Take to Change a Light Bulb?” You can see it by clicking on this link. There’s an answer for lots of breeds. But the answer for the Labrador Retriever is very revealing of their personality: “Oh, me, me!!! Pleeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?” If that’s not an ESTP, I’ve never seen one. (Although I suppose a few could slip over into ESFP.)

According to my Dr. Doggie text books (my doggie friends, you can learn a lot about this stuff at www.personalitypage.com), ESTPs are generally action oriented, flexible and adaptable, fun to be around, and good natured. Does that not sound like every Labrador Retriever you ever met?

So, dear Labrador Retriever, if you want to know what kind of people-job you might have, your qualities would make you an excellent sales representative. Your strong sensory processing, your outgoing nature, and your enthusiasm all come into play here.

Your qualities also make you an excellent candidate for police or detective work. Duh! No wonder so many of our friends are already employed this way. You could also be a paramedic. (Not sure they allow doggie wound-licking)

Finally, you, dear Labrador Retriever, should be very comfortable as an entrepreneur. Again, your outside-world view, your sensory abilities, your intelligence, and your action-orientation all make this a good path for you.

Who knows, maybe someday you’ll write a blog, like me.

Bye for now,

Dr. Callie, Golden Retriever

Callie, my fourteen-month-old Golden Retriever, has been “crate trained.” It’s the first time we’ve crate-trained a dog, and it’s worked great. Now, as she gets more mature, we’re giving her more time outside the crate. She’s even slept on our bed a few nights without disrupting our sleep too much.

But the last few weeks, she’s had to sleep in her crate again, because Barbara had some surgery and we don’t need Callie, in her exuberance, opening up Barbara’s stitches.

So yesterday morning, April 1, we were quite surprised when, out of nowhere, Callie ran across our bedroom and went straight into her crate. She was free to run around the house, but all of a sudden she bounded into her crate and sat in a perfect pose, at attention.

This was one of those “why-did-she-do-that?” moments that can make “dog-talk” such a challenge. How do you figure out what your dog is saying?

When we looked closer, we got the message. Callie was sitting there with Barbara’s running socks in her mouth. She was saying, “April Fools! I’ve got your socks and you can’t touch me in my crate because it’s off-limits to people.”

Needless to say, we collected Barbara’s socks, but we quickly replaced them with one of Callie’s prized toys, and she forgave us for encroaching on puppydom.

Most of the time, when a dog does something unusual, there’s a message. The problem is to figure it out. This one wasn’t too hard to interpret, but it was a fun April Fools!