One aspect of having a strong relationship with your dog is trying to understand its behavior. Why did he/she do that? What’s the message? This is the point of “My Doggie Says… Messages from Jamie.”
When Callie brings me a toy, I try to figure out what she wants me to do with it. Am I supposed to take it? Am I supposed to give it back to her? Am I supposed to throw it and have her fetch it? It’s a puzzle. But I’d rather approach it this way than always forcing her to “fetch,” for example. I think she’s pretty smart, and I really want to understand what’s on her mind.
One thing I try not to do is to get into a game of “tug of war.” I did play “tug” with Jamie, before Callie arrived, but I was pretty careful not to get into an aggressive, growling contest. It was just a little back and forth and then on to something else. Some people have pretty strong views about not playing tug of war with your dog. (See the August 7, 2007 My Doggie Says… blog post.)
So Callie’s game has evolved into something that can best be described as “let’s both hold onto this toy for a little while.” Here’s how it went the other day. I was working in my office, and Callie was in the same room with several of her toys.
First, Callie walked over and presented me with “stinky,” her absolutely favorite security object (named after granddaughter Lauren’s “stinky” security blanket).
Callie’s “stinky” is the little brown doggie at the top of this photo. “Stinky” was one of Jamie’s toys, and it’s a total mystery that he/she has survived the jaws of two powerful Golden Retrievers. (See “The Doggie Toy Mystery,” posted on November 21, 2007)
Callie brought me her “stinky” and literally put it into my hands. As usual, I held one end of “stinky” and let Callie hold the other end. I didn’t tug. I just held it. Then I tugged a little, and Callie let go. OK, this isn’t a game of tug of war. Then I let go for a second, and Callie pawed at me, to get me to hold on again. The two of us just sat there for about 10 or 15 seconds, both holding onto “stinky.” That seemed to be what Callie wanted. Then she walked away.
A few minutes later, Callie walked over with her little stuffed chipmunk toy, and we went through exactly the same thing. She offered it to me. I took it and tested “tug” for a second. No tug in return. I let go for a second, and Callie pawed at me to get me to hold on again. Finally, we both just held the toy for a little while, and she went on her way again.
A few minutes later, Callie did the same thing with her blue stuffed monkey. Then a few minutes later, we went through the same process with her green ropey dopey looking toy.
So we played four rounds of “let’s both hold this toy for a while” in the course of about fifteen minutes.
Callie seemed totally satisfied with the game. It’s as if she just really wants to share one of her treasured toys with me for a few seconds — not to play tug, not to play fetch, and not to just give it to me. But to do something with me for a little while.
Try playing “let’s both hold this toy for a while” (LBHTTW) with your dog & see what happens. Who knows? It may turn into tug, or fetch, or something else. But you can’t play LBHTTW with your dog and not feel like you’re really in a relationship with it.
